Sweatin to my oldies...

Wow! Cleveland your a hot one! Its been so hot here, tried sitting through an Indians game but couldn't last. I was so, so hot! Anyway, they got their asses kicked by the Sox (Chicago). But I plan on going to many more, only they HAVE to be night games.

Been working outdoors this weekend, mulching and staining the deck. I think that I would rather pay someone to sweat for me! It was insane! But on the bright side I got to see my little bro and got a few rays. So now I'm not SO lilly white!

Had a hard day today, but I am kicking ass at my job and I am payin my dues for that big pay day! Long drive as usual (hour and a half) but with sweet rewards: I got my tax refund today! YEAH! That one goes into the apartment fund!

Well, I hope you are having a super day! Remember, I am the person your parents warned you about...

The Great Outdoors... Buffett Style!

I was just doing yard work! Something that I DON'T do, why you ask? I don't like getting hot, the dirty part doesn't bother me, I just hate the heat. I am waiting for little bro to come home this weekend so I don't have to help finish the job.

As for the Buffett style, I am referring to drinking ice cold Corona! Corona in one hand grill tongs in the other. Listening to some good ol'Cuntry! Thank god for the honky tonk, it will save my soul (if its possible).

Had the day off, got that oil change and managed to spend a pretty penny along the way. I paid bills! Nothing too fun! Well, I did buy myself a cheap MP3 player so I can listen to it in my car on the hour long drive to work everyday.

Trying to plan my supplies for the Buffett trip, any ideas?

For all of you that read this and don't reply to anything, SHAME! I really do want to hear from you! Remember, I am the person your parents warned you about...

OH MY! What a nice Rita you have there...

I just discovered a fabulous new invention/concoction. Its the POM! Rita! Add some Patron to ice, lime juice, lemon juice, salt and a shot of POM juice! FABULOUS! Cheers, mate! Smooth and good for you!

Buffett is getting closer and closer, I can't hardly wait. It will be my third show (of many I hope for this parrothead.) It will also be my third city, I have only seen Cincin through an airplane window. Remember, I am the person your parents warned you about... Don't worry, I'll take lots of pictures. I am getting shirts made for the memorable occasion (Just Family.) It will be a Corona daze!

I have the day off tomorrow, so I will be getting the shirts done for me and the brothers, getting an oil change (for the heap), and redecorating the guest room. Now, doesn't that sound like fun?

I got a letter from my company today about pay grades for my position and I am sorry to say I am not at the top yet! But I started well above the middle point for my position! Thank god I still have time to move up but hopefully I will be moving up the ladder and not just the pay ladder.

Homesick

Talked to my gay friend at work, interesting, very interesting conversation. Brothas and dykes were the topic of the day. And all I can say is that if you know me, and I mean really know me you will know what this entailed. (L. F. the AOP for all you SK's)

Speaking of Brothas will Cleveland win tonight? I sure hope so, makes the people in this state a little less crazy. Give a cheer for me if you are watching!
Kind of along those same lines, I met myself a Brown the other day. He wanted to get a mirror framed. Said he needed his bad luck to end, I hear that.

If there is anger in this blog, Bam, I think it might be from frustration. Of any and all kinds. I did have a dirty the other night shaken not stirred, okay maybe two. Sure hit the spot. Reminded me of my bartending days and good old Iowa.

I really miss everyone! I know I wouldn't be where I am right now if I hadn't left but all the same I am really homesick. I never thought I would claim the state, but I really do miss all the hometown, redneck, fab, special people I met when I was there. How else would I have become a NASCAR fan and made sure I was still in style (you have to watch those Iowians, they are sometimes a little out there:)). So if you are reading this and you know me from my Iowa days or I should say daze, I really do miss you!

Even with all that, I am still the person your parents warned you about!

Jimmy Buffett June 8th!!

Well I was drivin' down I-95 the other night. Somebody nearly cut me right off the road. I decided it wasn't gonna do any good to get mad. So I wrote a song about him instead. It goes like this...

Were you born an asshole? Or did you work at it your whole life? Either way it worked out fine 'cause you're an asshole tonight.

Yes you're an A S S H O L E... And don't you try to blame it on me. You deserve all the credit. You're an asshole tonight.

You were an asshole yesterday. You're an asshole tonight. And I've got a feelin' you'll be an asshole the rest of your life.

And I was talkin' to your mother just the other night. I told her I thought you were an asshole. She said, "Yes. I think you're right."

And all your friends are assholes 'cause you've known them your whole life.

And somebody told me you've got an asshole for a wife.

Were you born an asshole? Or did you work at it your whole life? Either way it worked out fine 'cause you're an aaaass...hole tonight.

No News, No News!

Well, its been a pretty quiet week thus far. Nothing too exciting going on in my life, its the calm before the storm. I think I need a project! Maybe I'll finish my skirt that I have been making or at least buying for. Gotta learn how to do a zipper...

So boring...
No News...

I am the person your parents warned you about...

Ice cream Trucks and Cricut

I haven't heard the sound in years, maybe even a decade, an ice cream truck! Makes me think of that unrythmic ballroom dancer Master P. Had to get the dogs a treat, too bad I already had some after we dropped the man at the airport. Chocolate, makes me say aughh...

The Cricut is going fast and I can't keep them in stock. I am just that good! Haven't even put them out on the shelves and I since I can sell anything, it is gone, gone, and gone.

The hair has gone over with great acclaim. Never thought I would have this much fun with dark hair.

Short, Dark and Sassy

Think the new shorter Kelley Clarkson hair except very dark. Its adorable and sassy. I needed something new.

Leaving the trailer behind...

Ha, ha! I know you have the image in your mind: Barefoot, PG, and drinking a fifth of Jack! But never fear, it is only my lack of fabulous hair that claims the title "trailer". And tonight my friend, that title will be history! I am going to have my hair chopped off with no exposed roots. I can't wait. Now if I only had a fifth of Crown Royal I would be a happy camper.

I'll let you know how it turns out...

Married and forgetting it...

Hello, you men are married, what is your f'n problem? Why must you hit on me?

Its never a single good lookin, funny, hard workin man only the bastards that want no strings. Don't get me wrong I don't want anything serious right now, but I would like to have faith that something might come along.

This older man has been hittin on me at work, gross, and I find out he is engaged. Now I have dated married men, but I did not do so knowingly, but I don't respect it. One day I hope to have a partner that will respect me enough to never cheat on me. I don't know if that is possible.

My boss at work said I am like that local wanna be jesabelle, the local truck stop! I guess I attract all the local loonies! God forbid! What have I done to deserve this. Okay strike that last comment from the record. I know what I have done but was I really that bad that I deserve that?

Please leave me the "F" alone, I don't ever want to be your mistress, harlot, or sometime thing. I want to be left ALONE! Handle it!

I AM the person your parents (and sig. other) warned you about...

England, Gays and New Addresses

Just so we get this straight, I AM one of the people your parents warned you about!

So the Fedex guy at work is gay, ex-Cleveland cop and all. Got the word today from one of his kindred spirits. Why must I keep talking about this you might ask? Well, I have lived a very sheltered life in Iowa these past few years and now its time for me to grow up (in more ways then one) and open my shit brown eyes.

Another of those kindred spirits offered to help me look for an apartment today. I am excited, I can't wait to get my own place again. So me and the baby can have some peace. And I know that he will be honest with me and fun plus there is no possible chance of gettin some. Thank god!

Speaking of sex, I got an email from England yesterday. I miss you! We had some good times, no sex of course! Now those are the good flashbacks we were all warned about! (There you go, Bam!) I am drinking a Bud in your honor Dave! Remember, "Budweiser, The Official Beer of NASCAR" says drink responsibly. Is that why we ended up in the tattoo parlor?

I have decided to buy a big ol'truck when I get my new wheels. I don't think I can drive something where my ass scrapes the ground. I know, I know, gas prices are crazy. Hello, that is called life my sweet.

Razzle Dazzle and Dog Shit

Okay, well I thought that today was going to be a boring day! I eat my words! Today was our walk through with the VP's of the company and I Dazzled them! I sure hope that can only mean good things for my future. Having my new racing shirt on that my mom brought me back from Chicago, really what could go wrong? Go 99! It was a really great work day, we are opening this week and things are looking GREAT!

What is it with asshole men? Do they think that their gender entitles them to be shits? On my way to the store with my mom we stopped to get gas. An irate man ran to get ahead of me in line only so he could pound his fists on the counter and scream to the girls behind the counter. He made quite a scene and was horrible to the girls. So if you know me, you know that I can't keep my mouth shut. I walked out and loudly said how sad he was, shaking my head to the asshole in the Jag. And only cause his fat ass didn't want to walk inside to pay!

We get home and take the babies for a walk and I get into a huge fight with the neighbor. I told him to mind his own f'n business. I was so mad I was shaking but with laughter. My mom told him he was a small little mean man. We did not even walk the dogs by his crabgrass! The nerve of some men! I might go leave a little burning surprise on his step tonight.

Remember I am the person your parents warned you about...